One of the keys to living a well adjusted life, whether believer or unbeliever, is the
knowledge of our role in the scheme of things, particularly the nuances involved in the
chemistry of the man as opposed to the woman.
The distortion of these principles is a source of tremendous discord in the human race,
and contributes to the deterioration of the family unit, the basis for all civilized
society. It is clear why Satan, therefore, attacks he institution of marriage on this front.
All of us are aware of the contention between men and women, especially from feminist
organizations. There are some legitimate issues that we should attend to, such as equal
pay for both sexes, and other injustices perpetrated on the women of the species. But
these malpractices do not justify creating an atmosphere of enmity, as the feminists are
so well known for.
The fact is, men and women are not equal either physically or mentally. Equality is no
more an issue in this regard than it is as a criteria among men in general. None of us
is born the same as everyone else. We all have our unique strengths and weaknesses,
physical attributes, IQs, and every other facet of our being.
But where men and women are concerned, the Bible provides some fascinating insights
that we would be well advised to learn and apply, for it is essential to our compatibility
to understand the opposite sex. The precedents set in the Garden are a logical starting point.
Authority
The original Hebrew says that the man was "barah", "manufactured from nothing", meaning
made from raw materials that in no way resemble our present form. The woman, on the other
hand, was "banah", meaning "manufactured from something", or "built", from the body of the man.
Adam was given the Rulership of the World, with authority over nature, and when the Lord
brought him the woman she was, likewise, placed under his authority. The Bible says that
the woman was made for the man, not vise versa.
For those ladies that may bristle at this statement, I should clarify the fact that being
subject to authority does not imply inferiority. To the contrary, the Bible says to chose
him that serves you, and he is the greatest among you. Of course, this phrase alludes to the
Lord Jesus Christ, but it applies to all of us. Even Christ was under the authority of The
Father.
Authority is a device given to us by God to insure the orderly function of the human race.
Without it there would be no history, for man would have annihilated himself centuries ago.
There is a proper balance between authority and autonomy, and when these principles are out
of balance we invite disaster.
Authority without freedom is tyranny, and freedom without authority is anarchy.
The true function of authority is the maintenance of freedom, a far cry from what many people think it is. This misconception comes of the fact that authority is abused by so many, used
to bludgeon others into line, demand of others what they are not willing to do, and inflict
them with punishment, or worse, if they do not comply.
I recall watching my baby daughters playing dolls one afternoon. One, the oldest, was the daddy and the youngest was the mommy. On one occasion baby did something bad and "daddy" had to chastise her. "Daddy" shook her and swatted her on the butt with the words, "No! No! Bad
girl!".
Almost everything "daddy" did was gruff and hostile, and it struck me at the time that
this is the distorted view of authority that most of us grow up with. It is the same
twisted version that feminism peddles in order to generate resentment and spur women to
action.
The problem is, many people apply these abusive tactics to experience as adults because they
never learn the truth about the responsibilities of a leader, one with power over others, and
the essential role they play in affecting an atmosphere of freedom and justice.
Someone must have the final word. Hopefully, that person is mature and serious about their solemn responsibility, a person who doesn't wield authority like a club, but rather uses the
power of fiat sparingly, and only when absolutely necessary.
Even so, a subordinate may be resentful if they , themselves, are not schooled in the importance of authority in the relationship between man and woman. There is a tendency
on the part of the woman to be distracted by the aspect of their relationship in which the
man is their friend, their lover. When he must "put on the official robes" of authority,
and render a decision where there is a difference of opinion, he should be acting in
the best interest of the family, not to gain the upper hand, or demonstrate his dominance
of the woman. This is a critical distinction that the woman must keep in mind.
This arrangement is God's formula, and is therefore, all the more important, for it is
sanctioned by Him, and the home is blessed where both parties acknowledge His will in this
matter.
Rebellion
What happened to Eve has been repeated in the human race billions of times. For whatever reason, and they can be many, she isolated herself from Adam and was enticed into
the original sin as a result. She did not consult Adam about her conversations with the
serpent, even though he was suggesting actions that were counter to what Adam expected of
her, and more importantly, what God had taught them.
Perhaps it was boredom that made her vulnerable. She couldn't sin, except to eat of the
fruit, so there was no resentment or anger. Or it may have been a combination of curiosity
and her impetuous nature that led to the deception. Whatever it was, the Bible makes it
clear that the woman was deceived, but the man sinned in cognizance. He knew what he was
doing, but he did it anyway.
Herein are some fascinating principles to glean.
Satan attacked the woman for two reasons; first, if he had approached the man, and he had
fallen (which he would have, eventually), and Adam had commanded the woman to eat of the
fruit, then she would not be guilty of a sin. This isn't to suggest, incidentally, that
a person is not guilty of a crime if they murder someone at the behest of another, someone
in authority. The circumstances in the Garden were unique, for there was no sin in man's
soul, and therefore, no precedence for crime.
Secondly, Satan, a super genius, understood the weaknesses of the man and the woman, for
they were, like himself, creatures. The woman's weakness was that she wanted to gain
an advantage over the man, and Satan threw in an even juicier prize, the suggestion that
eating of the tree would make Eve smarter than even God. She went for it hook, line and
sinker.
Adam's weakness was the woman. I leave it to you to mull this fact.
The Weaker Vessel
The Bible calls the woman the "weaker vessel", and this phrase also generates considerable
ire among the ladies. Here again, this is a product of ignorance.
This isn't a reference to physical strength, but certain aspects of the woman's nature
which make her vulnerable to transgression, just as Eve was.
To placate the feisty female, once again, this isn't a statement of inferiority. Both man
and woman have their own peculiar areas of weakness.
The woman's greatest weakness is comprised of two factors; She was created as a responder,
and she was created with much more emotion.
The opposite of response is reaction, and the agency of this malfunction is usually
rampant emotions. When she if hitting on all cylinders the woman is magnificent, the glory
of the man, who responds to his love and authority with humility and respect. There is
no more splendid work of the Creator than a woman who fulfills her role in a relationship.
Her inner beauty is an inspiration to a man that can literally make of him a better person,
based upon his intense desire to lavish affection and pleasure on his mate.
This facet of a man's character is evident in the actions of Adam. Although he knew the
consequences of sin, he chose his wife over God. He couldn't bear to lose her, for she
would have been ejected from Eden and he would have, once again, been alone. His love
for Eve moved him to sacrifice life everlasting.
I'd say that's a profound motive, wouldn't you?
Although sin is never a solution to a dilemma, the actions of Adam also highlight the
expression of legitimate authority. A good man is highly motivated to protect his wife. Ironically,
although Adam was wrong to sin, in one sense he did what any man should in such a case, not
to engage in sin at his wife's behest, but to accept any suffering, any pain, to protect his
beloved. In this way a man emulates our Lord, who ultimately sacrificed Himself in a most
horrific way to save us even though man was entirely unworthy.
Emotion
Emotions are a provision from God as what we might call "appreciators". They spice up our lives on occasion in a very special way. We've all misted up as we sang the Star Spangled Banner, or wept at a wedding, or cried at the grave side of a loved one. Most of us have
experienced the highest expression of emotion, sexual release.
But emotion has a dark side, and because the woman is, by nature, the more emotional of
the sexes, she is more susceptible to certain sins.
I should explain that emotion is an exclusive property of the soul. What I mean by that is,
you can't emote and think at the same time. These two soul functions are exclusive, They
never occur at the same time.
This distinction is the reason why we can relax, forget the pressures of the day, by
listening to music, or watching a movie, sports, parties....any activity that elicits
emotion. When we introduce emotion into a troubled soul it comforts us by reason of
shutting down the thought process.
Negative emotions are anger, jealousy, hatred, bitterness. All of us have gotten really
angry at someone and said things that make us cringe later. Emotion eclipses thought.
Crimes of passion are based on this same principle. Some people do the most heinous
things in a fit of rage, and afterward they are horrified by their own actions.
God created man less emotional, and in that sense, more stable in given circumstances.
This is the wonderful balance so common in God's creation. Every extreme in nature has a
complimentary force to compensate for excess. Gravity and centrifugal force are an
excellent illustration of counter-balance in nature.
At those times when a woman's emotions may thrust her into some misadventure, the man's
stable nature is there to provide her an anchor. He may gently remind her she's out of
line, or she may realize it herself. At times, when hot words are flying, perhaps he
informs her of the situation in stronger terms. You get the point.
If they both fly off the handle together....watch out!
This is one aspect of the "weaker vessel".
Complimentary Attributes
I have just alluded to the balance in nature. This principle in a relationship is
intiative on the part of the man, and response on the part of the woman. This
applies in every facet of their lives, from daily issues to sex.
A woman's greatest blessing is response to a man with integrity. This involves
respect, which is the highest expression of love in mankind. Note that the woman
is never mandated in the Bible to "love" the man, but "respect" him. Obey. It
is respect that charactarizes our love for God, not mushy emoting and flowery
words. There is no harm in expressing respect in our own way, but the true
expression of love for God is obedience and appreciation of His love for us.
The woman has strengths that, likewise, compensate for weaknesses in the man. One
is what we call "intuition". A woman is far more sensative to many nuances in
personality and motives of other people. She can read deceipt and foul intentions
far more accurately than a man, in most cases.
The compatible relationship is one of mutual regard. The man should be quick to
hear the opinions of his wife, not only in matters of human interaction, but in
the entire array of life's details, or those in which she is adept.
Subordination to authority in no way implies inferiority of any kind, and that
certainly includes intelligence. A man with a well adjusted attitude will listen
attentively to his wife's opinions and recommendations, and where necessary,
amend his own thoughts where called for.
This is the compatible realtionship that God created for the man and woman; each
with their own strengths to compensate for weakness in their mate. Neither should
gloat at their advantages, nor make an issue of them for any reason, particularly
as leveage in a quarrel.
No man should ever use his authority to impose his preference in matters of personal
taste, things that many annoy him about his wife's habits, things he may disagree
with. A woman has the right to be her own person, and exercise her freedom without
intereference. She has the right to pursue her own interests, choose her own
religion, and even spend her income without answering to the man. What she earns is
hers, whereas the man's income belongs to the family. He is the provider.
In this way authority establishes and maintains an atmosphere of freedom. It should
be only rarely necessary to resprt to the prerogatives of fiat, but those times
do come along once in a while. When they do, and a man turmps a woman's views, or
recommendations, the woman should not fall into resentment or rebellion. If she
respects her man she trusts that his motives are unimpeachable, and even when they
clash with her own opinions it is because he truly believes his position is best for
the family.