Summer 2002, Chapter 6

Chapter 7 - "You work here so I must be qualified!"

So, last week was a weird week, a very weird week. A week that
belonged to some bad TV show. The case below exemplifies some
of the wonderfully fun things we get to deal with, working in a
government office.

Now, it's pretty well known around the office that, as one probation
officer puts it, I can deal with any thing that comes up to the counter.
Well, I almost met my match with what confronted me last week.

A middle-aged woman walked up to the counter and said to me
"I help people to become their best with God." (Somehow, she
actually capitalised the word in speaking it. It's an odd ability,
this capitalisation of the spoken word.)

"Okay..." (At this moment, my mind started going into retreat.
If she'd have been an angry crazy-person, I wouldn't have felt
so bad, as I could just dial security and not worry about trying
to get her to leave the office, but, she was a friendly crazy, and
so, I had to try to find a polite way to get her to leave. None of
this stopped me from going into a state of mind remarkably
similar to that of Devi in "I Feel Sick" when a customer asks for
a book, and describes it as having been blue [aside - great comic,
you should all read it if you haven't already. It's written by Jhonen
Vasquez, who also wrote Johnny The Homicidal Maniac])

"I want to help people here, and I think I would be good at it."

"Okay..."

"I want a job here, because I can help people to live according to God."

"Well, you'll have to submit a resume to Human Resources,
as that's where the hiring decisions are made."

"But, I don't have a resume, don't you have an application or
something I can fill out? I mean, I'm really good at helping people..."
(my brain tuned her out and then re-activated my ears when her lips
stopped moving)

"I'm sorry, we don't have any application forms, to apply for a position
you have to submit a resume to our human resources department."

"Oh, well, my experience doesn't really have much to do with helping
people, I mean, it's just 15 years of sitting at a desk for an insurance
company..." (dear gods, a born-again insurance salesperson! Is there a
lower form of life?!) "... what sort of qualifications are they looking for?"

"I don't know, I don't make hiring decisions, so, I am not sure what
they are looking for."

"Well, what were your qualifications?"

(She almost tricked me with this one, for a second, I thought about
listing them, but, that would have lead to even more of this 'conversation',
so, I went with the route my brain was screaming to me - a vain attempt
to get her to get out of here and to shut up.)

"I don't see how that's relevant."

(Apparently, this was not the answer she wanted, or maybe it was)

"Well, you didn't want to tell me what your qualifications were, and you
work here, therefor, I must be much more qualified than you are!"

"That's good, but you still have to submit a resume to Human
Resources if you would like a job." (die. die. die.)

"Thank you, live your life to its best with God!"

Well, she finally left the office, and, upon her retreat back to her
own world, I stated to my co-workers "You know, it's always good
to make someone feel better about themselves."

There are some people who simply strike you as being "off", as
though they're not quite there. Often, they seem to turn up on the
streets, content to live in the small sliver of the real world that
intersects the world they live in the majority of the time. Sometimes
though, they have aspirations, they want to bring the real world more
in line with the one they live in. It's unfortunate that it happens, but
sometimes, all we can do is humour them. Who knows, maybe that
lady would be really good at helping people, but I simply wasn't
enough of a god-freak to see it.


Disclaimer: The above is written as I originally typed it in 2002, uneditted.
My views have changed somewhat since then, but I think it's important to
be honest and present my thoughts as they actually occurred. I think it's
important that, despite my dismissiveness and belittling in the story/summary,
I've still got a bit of self criticism in there. I'll be honest and say that this
lady ticked me off, and I think that's obvious in my responses to her.


Previous Chapter: Summer 2002, Chapter 6 - Sad Observations

Next Chapter: Summer 2002, Chapter 8 - The Final Chapter



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