Electromagnetic storms evidently can jolt you around in Time--so
there's a small chance that you might one day get back the 2 hours
you lose to Tim Burton's new Planet of the Apes, but it's
a sucker bet. The only thing this Planet adds to the original
is Rick Baker's tradmark make-up marvels. Yes, Helena Bonham Carter
and Tim Roth ape around nicely, and Mark Wahlberg is a satisfactory
generic action hero. But the terrible script prevents any of these
performances from being much fun to watch. The disappointingly
lazy story has no surprises, except that absolutely nothing that
happens makes any sense. As you sit through millions of dollars
worth of digital monkeying about, the technical breakthoughs you'll
be most attuned to are the crisp green glow-in-the-dark dials
of your fellow filmgoers' watches.