PAUL WEIN: Good evening, I am Paul Wein here at Ring Fever, where the fans are the stars. Today in Fun Time USA we will get an interview with my good friend, Impact.
::: Paul Wein enters Fun Time USA, and see's Impact signing autographs for the little children. Paul Wein goes up to Impact:::
PAUL WEIN: Hey Impact, it's me Paul Wein! What's up dude. I was hoping to get an interview with you for Ring Fever.
IMPACT: Hey! No Problem man. What is it that you want to know?
::: Impact puts the pen down and walks to the back with Paul Wein:::
PAUL WEIN: Impact, we have been following up what has been going on in the EMF and it seems CM Punk had the balls to mock you! It seems he is doing all he can to get under your skin.
IMPACT: You know Paul, I have seen people like CM Punk come and go. They all have this cocky little attitude and only care about two things, making money and their bodies. CM Punk doesn't have the drive I do for this business. CM Punk get's offended by fans. CM Punk gets offended by everything. Why should I sink down to his level? Why would I even bother wasting my time arguing with an asshole jerk like that? I will tell you why. Because the fans hate him, and that is good enough for me. CM Punk strives for attention. He will pick on the announcers, children, and anyone he can annoy just to make himself seem like the bigger man. CM Punk, YOUR LIFE revolves around trailer park trash. You probably lived in a trailer park. Eating raccoons for breakfast, eyeballing your cousin cause you think she's pretty, and sitting with your Paw on the front porch looking for creeps who go through your crops. Although I am flattered at the same time. I mean, and I quote CM Punk "I am not your little faggot hero's Twilight and Impact". CM Punk, for you to consider me a hero. I applaud you, I really do. But in all seriousness, CM Punk want's respect where it is not due. CM Punk, you want fans? GO back to your trailer parks and catch yourself a round full of squirrels.
PAUL WEIN: CM Punk also said that you were totally wrong when you claimed to say he didn't know what Punk meant.
IMPACT: Ohh I'm sorry, CM did I offend your pride. Did I hit a nerve? Did I make you tear? You lived on the streets and slept in your car. Do you also wear a jeans jacket with cut finger gloves, carry a baseball bat with your hair slick back and walk around fighting good guys in video games? When people look at me CM Punk, they see determination. When they look at you however, they see deterioration. Cause they all know one day, someone is gonna smack the cockiness out of you. And this time I will take the responsibility to do rightfully so. CM Punk, if I were you I would start watching Monday Night Wrestling a little more often, because pretty soon your not gonna want to look at then next card cause you will be living in fear of ever seeing the name IMPACT gracefully next to yours. CM Punk, you call yourself all natural? Well Mr. Snapple, you can join the ongoing list of "there's no hope in dope" and "I pass on grass" community groups. Hey, I am just as clean as you, but to pretend to be fully against it is kind of skeptical. CM Punk, where did you get your body developed? In the GYM?? Ha ha ha. Your the type of guy who can't be left alone for two seconds without starting an argument with a person half your size. CM Punk, you say I am not even .09 percent of what you are. Well let me get all technical for you as well. CM Punk, you are not even 1/8 of my half life. Hell you are not even 1/3 the half life of beryllium. And beryllium's half-life is 1 day and 6 hours. And that's just how long your gonna last here in the EMF. CM Punk you say you know who the next TV Champion will be? Show me! All I saw was some scrawny little cock-ass making an X with his hands. But I am sure one day we will see a new TV Champion. But NEVER on my watch, not while I'm in the EMF.
PAUL WEIN: Impact, CM Punk even had the nerve to insult your finisher, one of the deadliest I have ever see in my opinion, the Impact Icer.
IMPACT: CM Punk, want to talk about bad finishers? A DDT. Like I never saw that before. You might as well give your guy the Pimp Slap, or the Eagle Driver. They maybe you will get some points for creativity. But to make fun of my finisher is the sorriest mistake you will ever make. We will see who the real tough guy is once all is said and done, and you are totally put on ICE after the match. CM Punk, another thing I have noticed about you is your obsession with homosexuality. Now I'm not pointing any fingers, but I know 1 in every 4 men is slightly gay. And this Saturday, I know me and Twilight have our girls to go home to. But that leaves some questions open about you and Justin Franchise... CM Punk, your in love with the Pussy I heard. Well in this match up your gonna be like a great big pussy, just waiting to get F*cked up! CM Punk you may consider yourself a ladies man. If a woman whistles at you, shame on me. But when a big hairy black guy whistles at you, shame on you. CM Punk, it's great to see you know your fair share of wrestling moves. But what good is a knowledge of moves if you don't know counters. An even simpler question, what good are moves if you won't even be able to nail them? Kind of makes you feel like the dumb ass now doesn't it. CM Punk, you think a standing back flip impresses me? Try giving a guy a Powerbomb into a DDT sending their neck crashing down in all different directions into the mat, and then maybe I will notice you. CM Punk, put me on your shit list. Hell make me number one. Cause if anyone is gonna get to destroy you it definitely should be me! So you better bring your own f*cking army pal, cause School House Rock 101 isn't gonna do shit for you besides help you learn the constitutional rights.
PAUL WEIN: Strong words from Impact. But what about Justin Franchise, I mean, he is sitting back listening to all this. Do you think he is every gonna come out from the dust?
IMPACT: Justin Franchise serves as no threat to me. Although I have the feeling that he is gonna be extremely pathetic and come out on the very last night to get his little one minute speech across. Either that or he is still in shock over his drastic and fatal loss to Twilight last week. Justin Franchise, Twilight whooped your ass. But now this time he isn't gonna do it alone. Cause as much as you want it to be two on one, your plans once again are gonna cost you because this time you got two birds to kill with no stones. And will come after you if you mess with me. Justin Franchise, if your such a big man why not speak up now. Tell the world what you think. Don't expect to bore the fans at the last minute AND come in ready to wrestle as well. Justin Franchise, I will see you at Saturday Shockwave and you better pray now that you never cross my path in singles because I will DAMN AS HELL make sure I make an IMPACT on your life, forever...
PAUL WEIN: Well thank you Impact for having this interview with us. We hope you win your match this Saturday at Shockwave. This is...
IMPACT: RING FEVER, where the fans are the stars!
:::
Impact continues to the table to sign autographs for the kids. The camera fades out :::