Home
by The Rebel Queen
Hermione ran down the stairs from Gryffindor Tower, tears streaming down her
eyes. Ron's words echoed in her head, "She's better than nothing, after
all." Ron and Harry were lamenting the usual lack of dates for the Yule
Ball coming up in a few weeks as Hermione was sitting nearby reading an old
favourite. Harry had been dating Lavender since October so it just remained for
Ron to find a date. After almost every girl in the school was discarded as
either taken or too ugly, Harry suggested that Ron ask Hermione.
"Yeah, I might," Ron replied, "She's better than nothing, after
all.." He didn't say it scathingly and she doubted he knew she had heard
his comment at all. However, that didn't make it hurt any less. She knew she was
about to cry and didn't want anyone to ask what was wrong. She had to get out.
Hermione put a marker in her book and walked towards the portrait. Harry and
Ron's conversation continued without a pause. "Gee, thanks guys," she
thought, "Not even a 'Goodbye.' I guess I know how much I'll be
missed." She walked past the portrait of the Fat Lady. But where should she
go? The library, her usual sanctuary, would be the first place anyone would look
for her. The astronomy tower would be overflowing with couples seeing as it was
almost time for curfew. She needed a place where no one would go, even if they
knew she was there. Then she had it: the dungeons. The fear of encountering
Snape would effectively scare off anyone looking for her. She stumbled down the
stairs, her eyes blurry. The increasing darkness alerted her she had arrived.
She climbed into a niche holding a statue of St. George. She curled up into a
ball and did not notice St. George looking down at her kindly and spreading his
cloak to hide her shaking form from casual passers-by.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Snape floated down the hall with a case of small glass vials. A swarm of
lacewing flies were found in one of the trees along the edge of the Forbidden
Forest and he had collected enough to last for a few months. As he walked back
towards his stores, he heard the small sniffle of someone crying. "My work
is never done," he thought to himself. He looked to find the source of the
sound and noticed the statue of St. George beckoning him. As Snape approached,
the sniffling became louder and the saint pulled his cloak aside to reveal a
shaking black ball covered in bushy brown hair. Snape started, of all people he
never expected to find crying behind a statue in the dungeon, Hermione Granger
had to be in the top five.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Hermione could feel herself being lifted from her place and settled onto
someone's lap. The unexpected kindness propelled Hermione into another bout of
tears and she buried her face into the enfolding robes. A silky voice whispered
nothing of importance in her ear but seemed to soothe the pains of her heart
nonetheless. Strong arms held her as she wept. Slowly, her tears subsided and
she noticed the wet patches her tears had left on the other person's chest.
"I'm sorry! I've made a mess of your clothes," She apologized
haltingly.
"It's alright," Hermione looked up at Snape in surprise, "I can
get them cleaned,"
"Oh my goodness! I'm sorry, Professor!" Hermione scrambled to rise,
"I'll just go back to my dorm, then.." She wished fervently for him
not to take off house points. She could barely conceive of any way for the day
to get worse.
"Miss Granger, you are obviously distraught. I would suspect that returning
to the melee of the common rooms would not improve your condition. If you would
like to come to my office, I shall make you some tea while you regain your
composure."
Hermione knew that she did not wish to return to her Common Room. Harry and Ron
would still be awake, and she did not wish to face them until the morning.
"Thank you, sir," she said meekly. Even if Harry and Ron knew where
she was, they would never seek her out in Snape's office.
"Come along, then." Snape picked up the vials from where he had set
them on the floor. He swept down the hall as Hermione trailed wonderingly
behind.
Snape walked to an empty piece of wall and murmured something Hermione couldn't
hear. As Hermione stood in the doorway, she saw two red leather chairs pulled up
to the large brick fireplace along the far wall. In front of the chairs was a
low wrought-iron coffee table with a glass top. In the middle of the room was a
large lab table with innumerable noxious potions simmering over low fires.
Snape's voice floated from a connecting room "Either come inside or go
away." Hermione quickly stepped into the room and into the circle of light
shed by the fire. "Allow me to shelve these bottles and I shall be with you
shortly." Hermione heard the clinking of glass as she sat down in one of
the chairs. She still felt upset, but she didn't feel the need to cry anymore.
Snape came up behind her and handed her a cup of tea. "Now," said
Snape as he reclined in the opposite chair, "Would you like to tell me why
I found you crying in the dungeons out of the company of the other two
musketeers?"
"I've just been having a hard time lately," Hermione said, "You
probably don't want to listen to the inane ramblings of a teenage girl."
Hermione stared at her cup of tea as if she believed Trelawney's supposition
that her future depended on the placement of the leaves.
"Miss Granger, one does not become the Head of Slytherin if he is not
prepared to listen to the woes of weeping females. On average, Slytherin
generates more teenage angst in a week than all of the other houses do in a
month. You are not the first tearstained person to sit in that chair, nor are
you likely to be the last. Therefore, if you would like to tell me, go ahead. If
not, then we shall pretend you simply came down for a friendly chat with your
bat-like, evil, sarcastic potions professor a few minutes before curfew." A
tiny smile curled at Snape's lips, but was quickly hidden as he took a sip of
tea.
Hermione chuckled. "Well, you asked for it. Although, I'll warn you now,
it'll sound silly. It sounds silly to me and I'm the one crying about it, but
that doesn't make it hurt any less." Snape nodded in understanding.
"Harry and Ron were sitting up by the fire griping about dates for the Yule
Ball. When Harry suggested that Ron ask me, Ron just dismissed it as 'better
than nothing' and I was sitting right there! Plus, when I got up to walk out,
they didn't even blink! It's like they didn't even notice I was there. It's not
just today, either. They never seem to notice whether I'm there or not, unless
there's homework to be done. I just keep wishing that someone would notice me as
something more than the homework help. It felt so nice when I walked into the
Yule Ball in fourth year! It was like I was supposed to be there, not like I was
intruding on everyone else's fun. I felt beautiful on the inside, like people
had finally noticed that there's more to me than answers to tests."
Snape looked at her sternly. Noticing the look, Hermione corrected, "Oh,
don't get me wrong! I don't give them the answers or anything, just a nudge in
the right direction while they're studying," Hermione corrected quickly.
"Thank you, Miss Granger," Snape responded, "I'm sure that,
thanks to your valiant effort, I have been saved from reading even more
ridiculous answers than those to which I am accustomed."
"You don't mind?"
"Of course I don't, as long as you're not nudging while the test is taking
place. If there's any way of implanting knowledge into some of those students,
especially without my time and hard work, I would gladly take it. But please,
continue with your story. It is an interesting predicament."
"Where was I.? Yule Ball. Well, the only trouble with what happened there
was that it took me upwards of two hours to reach that effect. Besides, I want
someone to like me for who I really am, not for the shiny and contrived object I
can become. The worst part is that I know I shouldn't be upset with them about
this. I know they don't know better and they're not deliberately trying to be
hurtful, but I'm upset anyway. Then I start being upset with myself for being
upset and it just starts a big spiral of unhappiness. The problem is that I
can't seem to break my way out of it." Hermione heaved a sigh at the end of
her recital. Somehow, it made everything seem more tangible by telling someone
else.
Snape smiled after Hermione had finished. "My dear Miss Granger, I believe
I have identified your problem. You have subconsciously realized your own worth
and have become frustrated with those who don't. You are intelligent,
perceptive, logical, driven, self-reliant, and deserving of much more male
attention than you currently receive."
Hermione blushed at the excess of compliments. She wondered if Snape was making
up for years of being nasty. "You have to say that because you're my
teacher."
"Actually I shouldn't say that because I'm your teacher. Regardless, it's
true. My suggestion is either to ignore everyone else and be grateful you are
you or to find someone who will help you do so. Obviously, you have outgrown
your friends, a fact for which I am entirely grateful. However, I hope you
realize it soon enough to prevent any further emotional outbreaks in my
vicinity."
Hermione smiled slightly at this return to sarcasm. "I'll think about what
you said. It made me feel a lot better. I think I should be getting back to my
dorm now." She set her teacup down on the coffee table and walked towards
the door. Snape followed to show her out. Just as Hermione was about to leave
Snape's rooms she turned around and hugged him. She couldn't say why she did it;
she just knew it felt right. He smelled of grass and wind. The embroidery beside
the buttons on his shirt depicted snakes twined in knots. "Figures,"
Hermione thought as her hair tangled around the buttons. Her body curled into
him and she suddenly felt like she had come home. She felt as if nothing could
hurt her because there was no evil to try to hurt her. As she nuzzled her face
into his robes for the second time that night, she whispered, "Thank
you."
"Any time; I will always be here, should you need me," Snape whispered
back as he wrapped one arm behind her back and the other through her hair. She
smelled of dusty books filled with knowledge and flowers at midnight under the
summer sky. In that moment he felt like there were no papers to grade and
Voldemort was merely a self-important despot consumed with hearing his own
voice. He felt as if he had entered such a sacred place that nothing could touch
him. It felt like he had come home. As he lifted his head from the fragrant
brown waves, he found two pairs of eyes, one green and one blue, whose owners
were wishing him dead. As he felt the warm weight resting against his chest and
remembered the unhappiness which caused the situation, he allowed himself to do
the one thing he had been wishing he could do for years. He calmly removed his
hand from Hermione's hair and, ever so elegantly, shoved his middle finger in
the faces of Ron and Harry.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Hermione disentangled herself from the voluptuous robes of the potions master
which seemed to want to entangle her in his embrace forever. She turned to find
Harry and Ron staring at her with faces of mixed astonishment and discontent.
She chose to ignore both sentiments and said, "Hey guys," She yawned.
"Gosh, I'm tired! I think I'll head to bed." As she walked back up to
the Gryffindor common room, she felt happier than she had in weeks. She already
knew who the only person capable of helping her realize her potential was. She
had only one question: how?
A/N: My thanks to the writers of the movie Never Been Kissed, for a wonderful
piece of dialogue which I shamelessly copied from them. That little piece just
seemed to work with Severus and Hermione. My kudos to a wonderful piece of
cinema. Also, major thanks to Rebmonk who beta-ed for me! He made sense of my
mush. Yay for him!