It was not to be. Friday morning Professors Dumbledore and Flitwick herded all the boys out of the great hall. Professors Lupin and Snape started moving tables out of the way.
I've got a bad feeling about this.
Professor McGonagall sat all us girls down in a group and proceeded to give us a lecture about how we were all becoming young women and we needed to take steps to protect ourselves. Oh, Lordy... But she didn't start up with the sex-ed. I guess since we'd all brewed contraceptives last year she figured we had that base covered. Instead she started describing the many nasty ways that young men could use magic to have their way with us. Like a Stupefy, followed by an Apparition, followed by a Mobilicorpus, followed by an Obliviate. And endless variations! Ugh.
Other than CONSTANT VIGILANCE, one's best bet seemed to be to retain one's wand at all costs. Of course, if you fell prey to an Expelliarmus then you were... screwed.
Professor McGonagall looked around the hall. "Has anyone here ever continued a fight without a wand?" There was a resounding silence. "No one here has done any dueling without wands?"
Oh. Dueling for stupid girls who walk around in dark alleys unarmed. Well, that's different then. I sighed and raised my hand.
"Wonderful! Well, Miss Granger," said Professor McGonagall, "Which defensive wandless hexes have you learned?"
"Uh, none. I do ...uh... Muggle dueling."
She frowned at me, disappointed. "Indeed? And you think that's useful? Well, perhaps you'll give us a demonstration?"
"Um. Well, I'd need a mat..."
"Oh. I think I've seen what you mean." Professor McGonagall waved her wand and conjured a mat. I poked it with my toe. It felt perfectly suitable. Well, darn.
Professor McGonagall dragged Professor Snape out of a dark corner and onto the mat.
Professor Snape looked pained. He glanced over at me and grumbled. "Minerva, I'd just like to register my protest that you always draft me to play the bad guy."
"Oh, hush. Remus is going to take a turn as well."
Professor Snape sighed. "Fine. Ready?" he asked me.
"Yes, sir," I said.
I looked up at Professor Snape He's too tall, too long-limbed; I'll never be able to hit him. I'm fairly short, very light and not particularly strong, which means that I'm utter crap at hitting or throwing tall people. Unless semes go out of their way to fling themselves over my shoulder, I just end up giving them a really awkward, wrestley kind of hug.
However since I am short and light, I make a fabulous seme for beginners to practice throwing. I have spent literally days as seme, curling over the shoulders of beginner ukes and going splat on the mat. At this point I can't even remember how to fall in a way that's painful; I'm too used to rolling onto my hip and shoulder. My sensei had made up for the amount of time I'd spent practicing ukemi with the beginners by spending some time with me going over and over close-range defensive techniques, and finally I'd found several effective strategies that worked well for my short arms and legs.
So, instead of trying to hit him or throw Professor Snape when he came at me, I let him come in close, let him grab me- oooh, that feels... and then I grabbed him back and stepped between his legs. I lowered my center, leaned into him, swept his foot out from under him and pushed him backwards.
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His arms popped off of me and he staggered backwards, but he was quite agile- he didn't fall. I could have completed the move with a pulled blow, but I decided that wasn't in the interest of my grades. The look of surprise on Professor Snape's face was quickly replaced with one of intense concentration. "Again," he said. "The same thing."
I nodded at him and he came at me again. I performed the same manuever, but this time he did not let go of me. My hand scrabbled over him as we fell together... Oooh! He landed on his back quite hard, but, interestingly, Professor Snape also seemed to be quite good at falling, with natural ukemi. He flipped us over pinning me beneath him on the mat.