Extreme sports are all the rage across America. BMX, skateboarding, rollerblading, X-treme rodent corn bowling, and the list goes on. The fact is; sports sells snacks. Kids are into sports therefore snacks are into sports. If lots of kids like to massage highly venonous and deadly snakes, then snack commecials would feature kids massaging deadly snakes while eating the snack they want to sell. Fortunatly, kids do not like massaging deadly snakes, they like extreme sports. If the kids see other kids doing thier favourtie extreme sport while eating thier favourtie extreme snack, then they are bound to buy it. Unfortunatly, it also works the other way around, if a kid sees thier favourite snack mascot eating thier favourite snack while jumping off a 40 foot ramp through six rings of fire and landing in a pit of deadly snakes, then surely there will be a mass of bones and blood fried to a crispy, crunchy texture being munched on by some deadly snakes. What companies are guilty of this advertisement? Most notably; Chef Boyardee which features many skateboarding and BMX kids performing tricks over Chef Boyardee cans of Beeforoni. Another shot shows a BMXer wall riding on a brick moral of Chef Boyardee himself. Another snack food company that uses extreme sports to the point that you feel sick in your abdomen is Go-Gurt. What the heck kind of food is that anyway?? Artificially flavoured artificial past suffed in a tube and labeled as "Extreme food for Extreme kids on the go!" The kids selling this crap do extreme stuff with one hand and squeeze multi-colored ooze into thier face with the other. Every commercial (which there are too many) features a diffrent sport. What about Capri Sun drink? Did you see that one with the snowboarders that drink Capri Sun while jumping of the side of a mountain and turn into shiny silver blobs of goo (which looks a little better tha Go-Gurt) and then procede to rocket through the air and in the valleys to another extreme destination; the beach. Once the blobs reach the beach they morph back into human form and thier snowboards have become surfboards. Is that not a strange way to sell a fruit drink? Another fruity-fun drink guilty of such demented advertising is Disney's X-treme Coolers. Thier commercial features Mickey and the gang playing video games while a rainstorm rages outside. Donald Duck comes in the front door dripping with water, and foreshadowing. He picks up a controller and a bolt of lightning hits the house, transporting them into a space-time vortex filled with various fruits. They come out the others sided into a the video game that they were in. This video game happens to be an extreme sports video game with fruit. Mickey busts some big air on the half pipe using his rocket rollerblades and grabs a bunch of grapes suspended above the ramp. Donald is able to score big points by snatching oranges on his BMX bike. Goofy grinds down a rail on his skateboard racking up big points by getting apples on the way. This commercial is the strangest and most severe form of the extreme sports obsession. It is really sad when Disney has to resort to such craptacular commercials to sell juice to young people. Disney, combining video games, extreme sports and fruit is never a good idea. Even everyone's favourite nasty turn-your-milk-into-chocolate milk cereal is in the game. Their newest commercial features Sonny the Choco-Bird skateboarding on a half-pipe and suddenly, they have a wierd craving for CocoPuffs. "We're Koo-Koo for CocoPuffs!" they all yell as they pour the cereal down thier throats. Then Sonny skyrockets up above the earth's atmosphere screaming "WWHOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" all the way down. Are they trying to sell steroids in thier cereal? This cereal seems to be suspiciously enhancing the kid's extreme sports power. They all seem to be strangely addicted and obsesed with the cereal. They are Koo-Koo for CocoPuff, is this not a sign of addiction? random cravings, ranting and eventually death by extreme sports. Today's society is really messed up.

Here is a fine example of the Loser disease at its worst. Here at the Loser website, we all have a minor case of Loseritis. Clearly they have a much more severe case of being totally and utterly pathetic. What causes them to become this Loserish? Well, the Loser disease and is a complex genetic disorder that effects everyone, including you, whether you acknowledge it or not. Some Losers, most often with developed cases, admit thier Loserness and feel better about it,(Look at the purple turtle's ambitous expression. He is confident in himself even though he is aware that he is standing in the middle of a mall while wearing what may be the crappiest Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles costume ever created) but those who do not are even more Loserish than those who do. If you sincerly believe that you are not in any way a Loser, THEN WHY THE HECK ARE YOU READING THIS ARTICLE?!?!?!!